1OO Days of Grief

It’s amazing how much progress one can make in 100 days!

Maybe this is why the first 100th day of school is often celebrated in elementary schools.

100 days makes a huge difference when one puts in their work! 

And grief work is hard work! 

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m so grateful for everyone who has helped through the process, because I couldn’t have done all this work without you; including every single author of all the books I’ve read in the last 100 days.

I’ve probably read more books in the last 100 days than I did the entire six years of high school!

Just kidding, four. 

Four years of high school. (List of books here).

Grief still visits me every day.  (I’ve named her Greta).

Some days Greta visits longer than others, but most days she comes and hands me a box of tissues and has a cup of coffee with me.

We talk.

We laugh.

We cry.

We pray, and then she leaves.

Until her next visit.

On some of her visits, she’s a total B***  and decides to stay all day! 

She angers me with frustration at the duties that come with the death of a spouse.

 
There have even been times that she’s made me mad at Wes for leaving me in this mess!(Don’t worry, I don’t stay mad, it’s just part of Greta’s personality).

You’d be surprised how many people will ask for a death certificate. 

So many times I’ve wanted to yell at people over the phone saying:

“WHY THE HECK WOULD I LIE ABOUT MY HUSBAND DYING!”

Then I  realize that people probably have lied, which is why the rules are in place.

This 100th day has me feeling more energetic, happy, hopeful, and even considering a move out of the county (more on that as/if things unfold).

Here’s what I know.

I know that if Wes could see me, he would be proud.He’d give me a thumbs up and a cheesy smile. 

He would also be making jokes at some of the decisions I’ve made and shaking his head at me for taking over his closet and his work area. (I can actually hear his voice in my head with his reactions).

And he wouldn’t be surprised by any of my moves.

I’m so predictable.

And he knew me so well 🤣

I knew that if the first 100 days didn’t kill me, they’d only make me stronger.

I’m glad they didn’t kill me, cause I’m definitely feeling stronger. 

*signs off singing the Kelly Clarkson song